What Would $789B in Pennies Look Like?

The government is about to put an awful lot of money into "economic growth." I hope they've invested in the yellow card market.

Congress for weeks had threatened to ask for separate checks at Washington's bipartisan buffet, then agreed yesterday on a price for President Obama's bailout package. Taxpayers, of course, will pick up the tab, effectively batting our eyelashes and taking our future economy out to a romantic $789,000,000,000 dinner. That number may look intimidating, but it's truly a sign of our times: three commas and, notably, no decimals.

While rounding up to the nearest billion dollars definitely puts a new twist on "keep the change," some government agencies aren't getting the point. Plastic is the new paper, and paper is the new small change. This isn't old news. Yet, the United States Mint just put into circulation one cent pieces commemorating the birthdate bicentennial of Abraham Lincoln. That's right, four new pennies for someone to collect and you to put into an old coffee mug until the mug gets really full and you pour them into an old coffee can.

These days I know we're trying to stimulate the economy and create jobs and all, but it seems as though the government could spend more of its time (and our dollars) "injecting liquidity" and "working" by issuing monetary denominations larger than the smallest one possible, or by creating something (or anything) Americans actually need. How about a single 789 billion-dollar bill? Now, that's conserving resources!