I saw a woman in the 23rd-Ely Avenue station this evening haggling with a guy selling bootleg DVDs. She was informing him that the first DVD she bought from him was really great, but her copy of Hotel For Dogs was really blurry. It was the first time in my life I've sympathized with the guy selling bootleg DVDs. Back on the internet, somebody named Greg Rutter has come up with a "DEFINITIVE LIST" of internet memes that you should have "ALREADY EXPERIENCED... UNLESS YOU'RE A LOSER OR OLD OR SOMETHING." There are 99 items on this list, which, as you may have guessed from the all-caps intro, is very poorly capitalized. Additionally, it is questionably curated.
Truly, my pixelated friend, it has been too long.
The are the (yawn!) obvious modern nods ("Don't tase me, bro" and "I'm f*!king Matt Damon"), and at least one truly awesome video that really does make the internet a better place (Battle at Kruger). There's a link to Cute Overload and one to Homestar Runner, a link to Fail Blog and another to Will It Blend?. But mostly this is just Greg Rutter's personal YouTube playlist with a few half-baked odes to the internet of years past. Greg Rutter, you didn't even bother to link to original files! All your links are belong to YouTube!
Greg Rutter, if you're going to bring to the internet something you so boldly capitalize as its "DEFINITIVE" collection of "THE 99 THINGS" needed to "EXPERIENCE" it, then you need to step up your game. Literally, there are no games on your list, way too many entirely irrelevant videos, exactly zero LOLcats, and where, in the name of all that is holy and digital, is Hampster Dance?! Where is the bubble wrap?! And unless you've recreated the experience of using Napster a decade ago... well. You haven't even started.
List Fail.
Greg Rutter cautioned per Sec. C-7 for really not even trying.
2 comments:
I conquer! This list is preposterous! There's no porn either.
Ha, no porn! I question his internet experience.
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