Hey there fellow curmudgeons and complainers. I'm handing out my very first card today. It would be a red card, but it'd be like carding the ref. Or is it an ump? I, honestly, don't watch as much soccer as Mike does. Plus I get confused easily.
I'd like to call attention to negligent parents. There's a lot of dangers out there and kids are so easy to trick, I mean, take advantage of. So I'm grabbing a card out of my breast pocket and thrusting up in your face mom and dad, for this; Mr Bucket-
Citing section B-7: gross negligence. Were parents sitting there, snickering to themselves about this commercial? Or did they just not realize there was a creepy, bucket man baiting their children to put their balls in his head and let them come out his mouth? I know this has been talked about, but I'd like to shine a light on parents' negligence in the area of Terrible, Early Childhood Toys. It probably has and is continuing to make us dumber and more susceptible to, oh, I don't know, sexual advances by creepy buckets.
My next essay will be titled: Hey, Mom; just because I cried and threw tantrums you shouldn't have let me watch He-Man. That show had such awful production value and was just abysmal. I mean, they used the same running cycle every time he went anywhere! And the plot? Ug. Sure, the toys were fun, especially the slime pit. OMG! Best Christmas ever! Except the time you got me Castle Grey Skull and I was so excited I threw up breakfast and then ripped off Man at Arms's arm. Man, those were the days. I love you, mom.
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2 comments:
In Mr. Bucket's defense, at least he wasn't soliciting children to put their balls in his MOUTH, only to have them come out of his head. THAT would have been wrong.
Well, I might not have seen that much malice in Mr. Bucket's insisting eyes, but teaching kids to spit? That's certainly a card.
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