Morning Yellow | 11.21

After nothing more than a quick stroll through the morning news, these folks have been shown yellow:

- 'A volunteer staff member' for the Obama campaign who is selling on eBay a 'rare Sen. Obama authored speech' in a binder with the President Elect's fingerprints. Cautioned per Sec. B, Ar. I-1 for unsporting and exceedingly questionable behavior.

- These hopefully anonymous Minnesota voters. Look at your ballots, people! Were you trying to wreck havoc on our democratic process?!? Cautioned per Sec. B, Ar. I-7 for negligence.

Vote early... vote lizard people?

- Also in politics: the State of Missouri. The bellwether officially rang hollow this year, picking Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) for the Oval Office after an extended vote-count. The Show-Me State had picked correctly in every election since 1956. Cautioned per Sec. B, Ar. I-1 for hindering progress towards the successful resolution of an event.

Chinese Democracy: 17 Years, 46 Seconds in the Making

It took Axl Rose an incredible 17 years and $13 million to bring Chinese Democracy into this world. For those of you thinking this is an obvious card for time wasting, it is, but not for the nearly two decade wait, rather for making us wait an extra 46 seconds to get the party started after pressing play. I don't mind a crescendo, Mr. Rose, but you've made your point.

Reviews have been mixed. The NY Times calls it "lavish, obsessive, technologically advanced and, all too clearly, the end of an era." Rolling Stone went with "audacious, unhinged and uncompromising." Neither felt the need to use a serial comma.

Take a listen, courtesy of Imeem:

Bad Apple: The Charred Remains of FireWire

I first read about this story almost a month ago in David Pogue's tech column for the NY Times. Thinking I was reading a MacBook review, the revelation blindsided me. I was outraged! My sentiments were shared by at least one Mac user, noted by Machinist in Death to FireWire 400:

"To me, it seems like Apple design guys (brilliant though they often are) ... forget that real people, with real budgets, like to buy and use their products."

My anger stemmed from the ease with which Apple giveth, whipith up fever-pitch adulation, and then taketh it all away. FireWire is way of life in the professional world of media production, to say nothing of its powers in the consumer arena. To make matters worse, at the time, Pogue had no comment about any replacement for the Emmy Award-winning technology. Rumors of SuperSpeed USB ease my pain slightly, but still...

What we have here is a popular, big name industry player reaching the end its career. Nevertheless, Apple has taken it down in the midst of a successful run. I have no choice in this matter, Steve Jobs. Just be thankful you're not seeing red.

For those of you who aren't yet finished tearing up, I'll leave you with a look back at life unplugged too soon:

Setting Some Rules

It only seems appropriate that we set some rules, and who better to guide us in this endeavor than the celebrated arbiters of yellow cards and red cards around the world: Fédération Internationale de Football Association.

So, with a little inspiration from The FIFA Laws of the Game, I have begun publishing the guiding principles by which Yellow Card, Red Card will operate. Admittedly imperfect at present, these rules will grow and be refined over time. I will of course be responsible for refining them, as per a section and article which I have not yet written. If you don't like that, fine. But you'll want to be careful of Sec. B, Article I-2.

Laws for a Better World: Sections A to C

Section A - Disciplinary Sanctions

I. The yellow card is used to communicate that an individual or entity has been cautioned for an offense.

II. The red card is used to communicate that an individual or entity has been asked to cease and desist for an offense.

III. Fines may be leveled against an individual or entity asked to cease and desist. Fines are leveled at the discretion of a YCRC-sanctioned referee.

Section B - Cautionary Offenses

I. An individual or entity is cautioned and shown the yellow card upon committing any of the following seven offenses:

1. behavior of an unsporting or exceedingly questionable nature, or which deliberately hinders progress towards the successful resolution of an event
2. excessive dissent by word or action
3. persistent infringement of the Laws for a Better World
4. time wasting
5. failure to respect personal space
6. disrespect
7. gross negligence

Section C - 'Cease and Desist' Offenses

I. An individual or entity is asked to cease and desist upon committing any of the following seven offenses:

1. seriously foul activity
2. violent conduct
3. spitting at any other person
4. inappropriate use of hands
5. denying the imminently successful resolution of an event
6. using offensive, insulting or abusive language and/or gestures
7. receiving a second caution in any seven-day period commencing at the moment of the first caution

The First Infraction

The first ever yellow card I've shown to myself for negligence and time wasting.

While registering this blog, I neglected to note that my friend Aaron was still logged into his Google Account, thereby registering the blog is his name, creating needless aggravation and costing myself several minutes of productivity.

It's a harsh judgment, sure. But that's why I'm here. We need to think more and be stupid less. We need more decency and less incivility. Absurdity is usually fine. And if I need to make an example of myself to be an example for others, so be it. The bottom line:

Think first. Or get carded.

Together we can make the world a less stupid place.