Showing posts with label santa claus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label santa claus. Show all posts

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Jolly Follies, Pt. 2 - Santa Double-Parks in Brooklyn


You may have heard about this by now, but it's true: Santa got a $115 ticket for double-parking along Third Avenue in Brooklyn. He was double-parked because his car was protecting his horse and carriage from traffic while passing out toys at the invitation of Borough President Marty Markovitz.

Oh, and kids tried to intervene by crying to the traffic cop, "That's Santa's car! That's Santa's car!" But they were unsuccessful in stopping Office Scrooge from writing up the violation.

Seriously, only in New York.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Jolly Follies, Pt. 1 - Hunky Santa


The
Beverly Center mall in Los Angeles has come up with "a wild plot twist" on the jolly ol' religious/secular/consumer champion of Christmas. They call him Hunky Claus. And he has Candy Cane Girls.



Hunky Santa holds court on Saturday and Sunday evenings, usually from 5-9 p.m., while Santa Claus proper--fat, facial hair and all--holds down daytime, which is ironic because it's Hunky Santa dreaming of the soaps career: "He told the Times that he recently read a script for 'Days of Our Lives.'"

Jokes about his candy cane and riding his sleigh aside, Hunky Santa earns the Beverly Center a yellow card because some things are, well, sacred.

Santa Claus is the secular keeper of a religious season that revolves around commercialism. Thus, Santa Claus walks an amazingly fine line (he has a very low center of gravity, so this is easier than you might think for such a big man) as ambassador to all Americans. To disrobe him, to display his rippling muscles and near-perfect physique is to open but another avenue by which Santa can be criticised. Or touched, lightly, on the chest by fawning 30-something mothers. Either way, I think you can see why this is a bad idea.

Beverly Center cautioned per Section B-1 for encouraging Mommy to more than just kiss Santa Claus.