Dear Guillermo: If you need help with that fine, I'd be happy to help out.

Major League Soccer has suspended and fined Guillermo Barros Schelotto for an elbow throw at Michael Umana of Chivas USA in a game last weekend. They claim it would have been not only a bookable offense but a red card, at that.

Given that assessment, the suspension seems merited--get a red card, miss a game. Fine.

But the fine... not fine: $250.

In the MLS, where the league owns players' contracts, it's understood (if not disclosed) that every salary is not a blockbuster. But Schelotto was compensated to the tune of $1 million in 2007 and, at the very least, cost his team, the Columbus Crew, around $150,000 against their salary cap last season.

So, I'll rephrase the question:

$250?!?

I pay that in parking tickets every other month, and I've certainly never won an MLS scoring title or championship, let alone attained legendary status for anything in Argentina.

If you want Americans to take soccer seriously in America, maybe the MLS needs to start taking soccer seriously itself.