Shia La Bouaaaa?!

This yellow card is issued with full knowledge that, upon demand, it may be upgraded to red. Seriously, Shia, this is some questionable speaking you've done...

Fox News is reporting that Transformers star Shia La Beouf offered up to Playboy: "the sexiest woman I know is my mother."

Let's be clear about this. The women in Shia's life include Transformer co-star Megan Fox, both images at left, and model Isabel Lucas, at right. Okay. We can move on.

Really, Shia? You mean, like, your mom is such a wonderful woman and the essence of motherhood is really the most beautiful thing you can imagine?

"If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother."

Okay. That doesn't really answer my question. We could still go either way on this. Can you say something that falls decidedly in the Not Weird column?

"I grew up with a bunch of hippies... That was strange for me, and it was really bizarre when my friends were there. You've got your little buds over, and Mom's, like, playing naked connect the dots or whatever."

Um. Okay. I think we're done here.

Shia La Beouf cautioned per section B-1 for sharing way more than meets the eye.

Egg + Croissant = Confusion

As if being stuck overnight in the Miami airport wasn't bad enough, the next morning I came across this place. The breakfast line offered your basic breakfast options, including croissants, fried eggs, and pre-assembled sandwiches offering some combination of the previous two items plus meat.

Me: Can I get just an egg sandwich?

Woman looks at pre-assembled sandwiches and says: No.

I ask again: Can I get that plain croissant and that fried egg as a sandwich.

Woman actually picks up a croissant and looks at eggs, then me: No.

I'm sure at this point my eyes were bulging: I'm sorry, I can't have that egg put on that croissant?

Woman just stares.

At this point, I'm fairly certain I swore, probably under my breath, not directly at the woman, and walked over to a nearby Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs, where the staff was more than willing to assemble an egg and cheese sandwich for me. I'm still uncertain as to whether the woman was a) institutionally numb or b) genuinely stupid. If it's the latter, I'm unconcerned. If it's the former, then it's a yellow card.